I'm going to jail i love you
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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