grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
