Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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