There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Watching her eat just hurts me
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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