well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
