So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
