I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
