I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
