about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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