Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
