My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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