How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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