you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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