There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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