You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
