I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
