Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
