My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
