Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize