Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
