Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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