I showed him my bush... on skype.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
