I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
