No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
