is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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