I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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