MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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