So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the day after is always just damage control
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
