he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Alive.
So much puke
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
