I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
