Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We're too hungover to prance.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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