I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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