Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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