i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
