My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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