nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
