i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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