So drunk its hurt
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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