would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
