Michael Bay diarrhea
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You made out with two different species that night
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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