I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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