new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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