Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
