seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
