You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
