Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
