OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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