remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
