He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
