So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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