I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
