If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize