No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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