dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
