come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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