Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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