they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
