I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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