When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Who died my cat blue again?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize