I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
