I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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