I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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