That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
