your thong is hanging out like whoa
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize