she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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