Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
