1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
