Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
