Who did Billy Mays play for?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
