Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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