She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
