It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
