I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She made me pour olive oil on her.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
